A Dedication For Grandma

Thomas received a fun Valentine's Day package from Grandma and thought he would send her this to thank her:

Grandma, you are my sunshine!

Snow Days

North Carolina has been blasted with its own big snowstorm. Though we certainly grew comfortable with winter road conditions in the Midwest, this storm was enough to keep us home today. Church tomorrow has already been cancelled, and Thomas is thrilled by the sight of snow at our house. As soon as he saw it, he began to recall his fun adventures in the snow on our trip to Utah over Christmas. It's taken me awhile to catch up on all of my posts from that vacation, but this is the last installment. So while we create new memories in the snow with our sweet Thomas, these are the memories that are playing out in his mind:

Book of Mormon Story--The Vault Land of Inheritance

Mark's dad is the proud owner of a first edition Book of Mormon that has been passed down in his family.

Because he wants to keep the prized possession within the Abbott family and because his perfect first-born no longer bears the Abbott family name (a casualty of marriage, of course), he has wrestled with the idea of who should inherit this prized possession. Over Christmas Break, we visited the vault in which he keeps this Book of Mormon. And out of his very own mouth, we heard a possible solution: since Thomas bears his own name, he thought that perhaps the Book of Mormon should be passed down through Mark to his impeccable grandson.

When Thomas was too quick to act upon this idea, though, I'm certain that Grandpa Tom was left wondering what the real solution should be.

Mark reminded Thomas that even if the Book of Mormon is passed down to him eventually, Mark must first be the possessor of it, and Thomas will just have to wait in line.

Park Valley At Last!

Throughout these 4 years of being married to my delightful man, I have heard a lot about Park Valley, Utah and the home where my wonderful mother-in-law grew up. On our visits to Utah, there have been a few opportunities to visit Park Valley, but Mark has always had other plans for us. The long-running joke was that Mark didn't think I quite qualified to have the important life experience of visiting Park Valley. Thankfully, his efforts to keep me from Park Valley were finally thwarted over Christmas Break when we attended a mission homecoming for one of Mark's cousins. I apologize for the picture overload; however, seeing how it took 4 years for me to finally visit, I had to be sure that this trip was well-documented.

Finally Putting Out Christmas

Christmas lingered at our house well after 2010 marched in. Since we traveled to Utah for the holiday this year, we had a great excuse for our delay in taking down Christmas. In fact, I was pretty proud of myself that a day after we returned, the laundry was washed (and folded and put away--a huge feat for me) and Christmas was back in its box. My to-do list nevertheless remained long, and one task kept getting overlooked: blogging about our Christmas vacation. So while many of you have dust already collecting on your tucked away Christmas boxes, I hope you allow me to finally put out our Christmas celebration. As with all Christmas decorations, this is merely the first box of treasured Christmas memories that I'll be unpacking so stay tuned for a few more.

Santa Baby

And just what were Thomas' favorite presents?

A tent: it's never too early to start training for outdoor adventures with Daddy. (Just ask his blister-loving Mommy.)

Bubble wrap was a favorite unintended gift.

And the present it was wrapped in wasn't too bad either. Thomas loved his pony that Grandma and Grandpa Abbott gave him. We never did figure out a way to get it home (without great expense) so Thomas' pony will have to stay in his grandparents' stable--just one more reason to plan frequent trips to their home.

Our music-loving boy loved his own keyboard. He opened it in North Carolina before we left and had a little bit of time to hone his skills before arriving in Utah.
By then, he was concert-ready and accepted song requests from his audience.

Just look at that natural skill!

My family joined Mark's family for Christmas dinner, and they were among Thomas' happy audience. (Mark's family is always behind the camera; otherwise, I'd share a picture of them too.)

My sister Amy and her family also joined us.

Thomas had a wonderful time, but something certainly had him sad. Did someone spill the secret about Santa?

Whatever the fuss was about, the tears didn't stay long. Ace the dog made sure he licked those tears right away, and Thomas happily obliged.

Being at Grandma and Grandpa's house for Christmas certainly had Thomas (and all of us) flipping for joy.

Christmas Break

We are enjoying time away from work as a family so blog posts will be virtually non-existent until our normal routine resumes. Once that occurs, prepare to be overwhelmed by all of our holiday happenings. Until then, enjoy feasting your eyes upon our handsome little man:

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

Guilty...

When Mark and I got married and we began attending a married student ward instead of the singles branch that had brought our paths together, I found the transition difficult. Women in the ward did various things during the day. Some had jobs, a few were in graduate school like me, and many were very busy at home raising young children. All of us were doing important things. Nevertheless, first conversations with someone new at church almost always began with the question: "What does your husband do?" I don't think any married individuals at church really believe that who they are is defined by what their spouses do; yet we tend to fall into the routine of asking this opening question.

When I became a mother, I began to understand why this question is asked so often (and I was only home full-time with Thomas for his first 6 months). Motherhood is all-consuming--beautiful and unrelenting. While I proudly wear the labels of wife and mother, they are not my only labels. And of all the women I know, I don't know of a single one who lacks individual interests, talents, and hobbies. Sure, we often feel overwhelmed by the weight of our responsibilities and sometimes so defined by our roles as mothers that we forget about our own interests. However, my secret (not-so-secret now) mission has been to somehow change this initial dialogue we have--to ask meaningful questions of each other that encourage us to share more than one dimension of ourselves.

Now for the admission of guilt: last week must have been a one-dimensional week for me. One night in particular I was cooking dinner, cleaning, and entertaining Thomas--all while trying to be as quiet as possible so that Mark could continue sleeping. (He had to work the 10 PM-10 AM shift reading films in the ER that night.) Our efforts to be quiet were obviously unsuccesful because Mark emerged from the room around the same time that my own cell phone began to ring. The number was an unrecognized Iowa phone number, and I answered. The caller asked for Dr. Abbott, and I was immediately perplexed about why someone in Iowa would be calling my cell phone for Mark. I handed the phone to my barely awake husband, and he proceeded to have a conversation with the caller, who was trying to convince him to donate money to the University of Iowa Alumni Association.

Only after Mark hung up with the persistent caller did the following realization hit me: As of this past May, I also bear the title of Dr. Abbott. I was so wrapped up in my "mom duties" that it didn't even occur to me that I should have asked the caller which Dr. Abbott she was trying to reach (or better yet just respond that I was Dr. Abbott since, after all, it was my cell phone that was called.) Somehow I had fallen into the same self-forgetting trap that causes us women to ask, "What does your husband do?" upon first meeting another woman at church. I don't mind that it happened really, but I do think it's pretty funny that I completely forgot about the title I earned after 5 long years of work. Indeed, my lapse reveals the hierarchy of my roles. Mommyhood trumps "Dr."-hood any night of the week, and this is a choice I am very proud to make. But once Thomas is fast asleep, this tired woman stays up insanely late and gets only 5 hours of sleep a night because she wants so much to retain her other labels. Yes, I'm exhausted, but I still feel like I'm me.

So, here are my questions: how do we balance motherhood and our other roles? How do we women engage in dialogue with each other that doesn't reduce us to a single role? Have any of you been similarly frustrated by trying to get to know someone new and having a hard time getting past the "what does your husband do" initial questions? Perhaps I'm the only one, and you can add overreactor to my list of multi-dimensional labels. ;)

A Bone to Pick with Grandma

Thomas and Grandma Nana broke the Thanksgiving wishbone together. As you can see, Thomas now has a bone to pick with Grandma...

The Second Holiday in November

Last year my mom and I became Black Friday converts, and this year we repeated our early morning shopping antics the day after Thanksgiving. Thomas even decided to join us this time around, and he was absolutely perfect. We never did hear a whine out of him.

Waiting in line outside of Target at 4 A.M.

Smiling after my successful acquisition of Thomas' gift from Santa .

In the car that was stuffed much more than any Thanksgiving turkey ever was. Where's Grandma Nana?

An exhausted Grandma who found her own version of a stroller.
Lucky for us, this was our last store for the day.
Thomas happily went along with her for the ride.

Peeking at all of our purchases.

Thomas smiling because he thinks all of the gifts are for him. Sorry, Thomas, Grandma won't let you keep the pots and pans for your own music-making fun. I promise you, though, that you will love your gifts once you're finally allowed to open them.

Scenes from Thanksgiving

Feast your eyes on a few of our Thanksgiving Day adventures.

Grandpa Pops took Thomas to the dollar store, and he picked out this fireman's hat there:

Little did Thomas know that Pops would put him to work to earn his gift:

Grandma Nana performed her yearly rendition of Mr. Turkey:

Thomas loved watching her theatrics:

Pops and I took Thomas to the Air and Space Museum, which was actually open on Thanksgiving Day (Hooray for us!):

So thankful for airplanes...

Washington D.C. Temple Tour

Ask Thomas what we did over Thanksgiving, and he will tell you that we saw many temples while he and I were in Washington D.C. for the holiday. (Mark had to work so he wasn't able to come.) Because there are so many ornate buildings in D.C., our drive through the city resulted in Thomas' shouts of "Temple, Temple!" at almost every turn. According to him, the Jefferson Memorial is a temple, the White House is a temple, etc., etc. In fact, the only building that took him awhile to label as a temple was the actual Washington D.C. temple itself. However, I think his hesitancy was only because the temple kept disappearing behind trees when we first saw it. Once it remained permanently in our sights, he was a big fan. Thomas was even able to tour his first Temple Visitors Center, and he thoroughly loved it!

Admiring the Christus with Grandma Nana

Playing with the "Balls" on the Tree

Working on our Family History

What a diligent boy!

How to Enjoy Fall

Blackmail

Do I lose my blackmailing privileges many years from now by publicly posting these photos now?

I Love to See the Temple

Every time Thomas and I travel in the car, he immediately begins to exclaim, "Temple, temple!" His excited request is meant to prompt his wonderful mommy to turn on the song "I Love To See the Temple", which I can easily tell you is song number 35 on disc 2 of the church's Primary Songs cd. Our gospel art kit is well-worn (or should I say tattered) on the pages that show pictures of the Salt Lake City Temple. In sacrament meeting today, Thomas kept flipping through the pages of the hymn book saying "temple" with every page turn. To say that Thomas loves the temple is an understatement. Since we live a mere 20 minutes away from the Raleigh Temple, Thomas' love for the building prompted a quick visit a couple of weeks ago. While there, his energy made him much too quick for me to capture any quality photos of the excursion. Nevertheless, his awe for the building and his excitement to be there permanently captured a place among my well-cherished memories. Indeed, I love to see Thomas see the temple.

Howdy Partner!

Thomas' daycare had Pony Picture Day. Though Thomas didn't want to take a picture on the pony, he still made one cute little cowboy!

Fish Out of Water

Here's what happens to a fish out of water:

Just what could cause all of the wear and tear? See for yourself:

A Ward-Winning Trunk or Treat

We attended our ward's trunk or treat this morning and were thrilled to receive the award for best family of costumes. Mark was a fly fisherman, I was the fly for catching the fish (complete with the enormous fish hook on my back), and Thomas was the best catch of all--an adorable little brown trout.

The Great Pumpkin

School of Fish

Too young to remember his first Halloween one year ago, Thomas' first exposure to Halloween this year made him a big fan. His school spent an afternoon celebrating Halloween, and our little brown trout now holds a special place in his heart for the holiday. It's the perfect day for a little boy who unsuccessfully asks his mommy for a cookie at all hours of the day.

Calling Grandma to thank her for her work on his costume

The Many Faces of Relaxation

Ever since Thomas was born 19 months ago, I have been one overscheduled mama. When he was 6 months old, I began working full-time while simultaneously finishing my Ph.D. in my "spare" time. During that time period, I regularly received 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night. (Yikes!) With the Ph.D. now finished, my spare time hasn't increased as dramatically as I thought it would. (Now I regularly receive about 5 hours of sleep a night.) Last week Mark and I went on our first vacation (a Caribbean cruise) without Thomas. Though we missed our little guy (who didn't miss us much due to an amazing grandma), it was such a therapeutic week. Here are the many faces of relaxation that we experienced:

Mark as Master of the Flow Rider

Flow Rider as Master of Diana

Dancing for my raffle prize at the cruise spa.

(Unfortunately, I received one of the only prizes that still required me to pay for services so I essentially didn't win anything. At least I got to shake my booty.)

Climbing Dunn River Falls in Jamaica

(Two of Mark's brothers and their spouses also joined us on our cruise.)

Visiting the Turtle Farm in the Grand Cayman Islands after our swim with a dolphin.

Someone's happy for dinner. Can you guess who?

My fun sisters-in-law

The Menfolk

Playing Dress Up